Is this a midlife crisis?!

Okay, I don't really think I'm having a midlife crisis.  I'm not even middle-aged yet!  Catchy title, though, right?  I am, however, at a time when I am starting to think about changes in my life and stepping outside of my comfort zone more often.  I love the work I do and the population I serve, but lately there is something lacking.  There are some frustrations that are out of my control and while I remain positive as much as possible, they sometimes wear me down.  That brings me to an idea that's been floating around in my mind for a very long time, but has recently become somewhat more frequent.  Do I want to return to school?  I certainly have never decided that I was finished with school, but lately I think about it much more often.  I was so frustrated with the outcome of a client's case recently that I just pretty much got determined that I have to go to law school.  I need to be able to do more.  I think I do a damn good job helping my clients, but as an advocate, there is only so much I can do for them.  I know it sounds completely naive, but I want to save the world.  Yes, that's totally naive, but I believe it.  I think I have a better chance of doing that with a law degree, but the thought of working full time, caring for two busy boys, maintaining this new business I love, and going to school is a bit overwhelming.  I've started looking into the Law School Admission Test and schools in the area, but I'm not sure if this is going to be a near future kind of thing.  It's a big step and one I want to take eventually, but I think I should start small.

I have my outlets, of course, when the frustrations do get heavy, and crafting has become one of the main outlets.  As I continue making and selling, I think about my little shop becoming something bigger.  I never want it to be a career, but I would love to pay extra on student loans or take my family on a nice vacation or even do some repairs around this old house.  I've even been thinking about trying to sell at some craft shows. It's getting easier to dedicate time to myself, as my boys grow older.  I have this great group of creative friends and the very best friend who has really inspired me to rediscover my love of creating and helped me grow in that area.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned stepping outside of my comfort zone.  I am preparing to do that next week and really what started as a post about this, has turned into a pretty wordy rambling.  Gosh it feels good to get it out, though!  My actual start to this journey of change/discovery/who the hell knows begins with a retreat to Florida at Camp Tumbleweeds.  I will be spending a weekend far away from home camping with a group of strangers.  It is both the most anxiety-inducing and exhilarating thing I've done in a long time!

Stay tuned for more...