No this isn't a tribute to Britney Spears, although that could make for an interesting blog post. I mean I went too long without updating again. If you aren't a reader, feel free to skip this post altogether. I have a feeling it's going to be a doozy! I tried to think of some photos to go along with this post and sort of break things up, but I didn't think my messy house or me in my over-sized pajama pants were really blog worthy.
I'm in this place right now. It's not a funk, but instead just a place of slight dissatisfaction with the professional aspects of my life. A part of it is really that I need for there to be more hours in the day. I have so many things I feel like I should be doing, but unless I stop sleeping or quit my job, there just isn't enough time. As my little hobby/side business seems to grow, I really want to be spending more time working at it and making improvements, but there just isn't always time for doll faces and glue.
The largest source of this dissatisfaction is my actual job. I love the work I do with clients, I absolutely adore the population I work with, and I think I'm pretty darn good at what I do. You're probably thinking that should be enough, but it just doesn't seem to be. Things are quiet and pretty slow at my office right now. That's scary in an agency that largely relies on government funding. I'm pretty certain they want to justify giving money away and small numbers probably don't do it. So you would think this should be a time that we would be working on outreach and maybe looking into how we can improve and better serve our community. You would think that. It just isn't happening, though. And as funding gets tighter, you would think we would really be all about doing our own fundraising. You would be wrong again. There have been a few ideas I've brought to my director's attention, but it was left up to me to follow up. Please see the previous paragraph on needing more hours in the day. I am often left feeling like no one really cares or maybe everyone has just become so comfortable and used to doing the least amount of work possible that they are oblivious to the fact times are a changin'.
This is a tough spot for me to be in, because I am forever hopeful. I am hopeful that my agency will be amazing, that we will reach out to and successfully serve all the populations within our community, that every damn person in the county will know who we are and have something positive to say about us. But that hope is starting to wear me down. At what point does my hopefulness turn into foolishness? I know this is one I have to work out for myself. It really feels good just typing it all out.
If you've stuck with me this far, thank you! You've made it to the end of my rant/ emotional unload. As a reward, I promise to not have any more posts like this for at least a week!